Never A-feared of Death - Not Realy?

I've never really been afeared of death, in fact, there have been times when I have relished the thought. It's never really had anything to do with wanting out of anything hard, more of a fear of not being able to turn things right, either from wrongs I'd done, or wrongs done to others, by others, and their states of pain.

The main reason I never fully acted on my thoughts was because I loathed the idea of making this world a more bitter place than it already was for those I knew were already in pain - You cannot take pain away by adding to it.

For all these reasons I turned to addictions in attempts to mask my own pain, but in turn, I added to the pain of others yet again by my misbehaviors and lost ability to invest in them.

For all these reasons I turn inward and hid out, to remove myself from the equation without input from the heartbreak of my own death.

It's all kind of Catch-22. The viscous cycle of pain, fear, and regret.

Steps in hope and grace - In the midst of my journey of loathing and discovery, I stumbled upon words whispered in my mind: Could you carry a bit of pain and walk with kindness to the support of others while I work to heal you all? Would you just take what you can bear up? What if I've got the this...?

You can insert here whatever entity you might attribute these words to. I am confident I know their origin...

So here go I, blundering along with my attempts to help make this world more tolerable and hopefully beautiful for us.

Grace to you and me this day...

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Photo: Somewhere in CO @ 12,000ft

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#shannonhhicks #thisismyfathersworld #renewed